I believe in the soul the cock, the pussy the small of a woman's back the hanging curveball, high-fiver, good scotch that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there oughta be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography open your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days